As human beings we find ourselves competing for energy to get psychological lifts. It starts early in childhood, then progresses as we get older. We believe that we MUST get attention, love, recognition, support, approval...the list goes on...and all these things we expect from other people.
Early in life we unconsciously adapt ourselves to our environment. The way our parents made us feel and how we were treated actually has a bearing on how we as adults attain our energy.
There is a vast majority of people becoming aware of this energy transference and realise that one of the first steps we must take to evolve consciously, is to clear away our past attitudes, fears, misinformation and behaviour that we utilise to control the flow of energy.
When you back to childhood you can see how you have formed certain habits and attitudes. All family members are acting a part in the Drama of life. You are plunged into Control Dramas from the time you are born. It's natural and instinctual to find strategies to win energy, particularly when other family members are trying to pull energy from us. For us to really understand what the Dynamics are in these Control Dramas you need to understand the four basic classifications of energy manipulation.
If you have been fortunate to have read "The Celestine Prophecy", you will understand what I am talking about, but for those who have not, you will recognise these traits that people take on from the following information..( taken from the Experiential Guide)
Control Drama Classifications
Intimidator - These are people who make you feel afraid or anxious. Intimidators have the stage and demand attention by using force of loudness, physical strength, threats and unexpected outbursts. They keep everyone on edge for fear of triggering off embarrassing comments, anger and in extreme cases, rage. Energy comes to them because of the fear and suspicion of the next event.
Common behaviour may take the form of being authoritarian, ordering others around, being inflexible, being sarcastic in nature, being violent or even someone who likes to talk continuously.
Each of the four control dramascreates a specific energy dynamic called a matching drama. The Intimidator creates " The Poor Me". The Poor Me being robbed of their energy by the Intimidator reacts by assuming a cringing, helpless attitude:
" Look what you are doing to me"
"Don't hurt me, I'm too weak"
The Poor Me is attempting to make the Intimidator feel guilty in order to stop the attack and regain a flow of energy.
So let's look more closely at the Poor Me next.
The Poor Me or Victim- They don't feel like they have enough power to confront the world in an active way. They elicit sympathy or try the silent treatment, but they make sure that the silence does not go unnoticed! Pessimistic in nature, the Poor Me pulls attention to themselves by worried facial expressions, sighing, trembling, crying, answering questions slowly, staring into the distance and retelling stories about their personal dramas and crisises. They like to go last in line and defer to others and their favourite two words...." Yes, but......."
Poor Me's seduce those taken in by their vulnerability and need for help. But the Poor Me is not really interested in solutions because then they would lose their source of energy! They generally are over-accommodating which often leads to them feeling taken advantage of, and don't really know how to set boundaries and limits. Their behaviour ranges from convincing, defending, making excuses, repeatedly explaining themselves away, telling to much and a willingness to solving other people's problems that are not their business. They run the risk of being objectified for their beauty or sexual favours, which then makes them resentful for being taken for granted.
Poor me's sustain their victim stance by attracting people who intimidate them.
In the EXTREME cycles of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, an Intimidator will involve the Poor Me in increasingly violent episodes of abuse toward the Poor Me until a climax is reached. After the climax, the Intimidator retreats and apologizes, thus sending energy that "seduces " the Poor Me back into the CYCLE.
Continued in next post....
